True giving is selfless. If it doesn’t delight the one receiving, or fulfill a need, it is not giving but something else, something meant to purchase gratitude or obligation, or satisfy one’s sense of righteousness.
Imposing one’s own ideas about what the recipient should have, is simply fulfilling one’s own needs and does nothing at all for the other—like the wealthy maiden aunt who gives her relatives a painting that’s not to their taste at all. The aunt is thanked, and the painting sits in the attic or basement until she comes to visit, when it is prominently displayed. I’m sure we all have endless examples. What’s the point?
If there’s real caring, truly wanting to give, a genuine desire to fulfill a need or please the recipient, then time and energy is expended discovering what it is that will serve or delight the other. What can they use, what will bring them joy? Inquire and discover. Perhaps flowers, or consumables, which will not remain to take up space and collect dust, are preferred. Giving without fulfilling the need or desire of the recipient is actually not giving, but imposing a burden and no gift at all.
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